darlings:  i will be gone for a month

      i do not know if i will be able to use

a computer, but do not worry about me....

all is good,  i think of you my friends alot.

best wishes , incase I vanish for awhile"poof"

eLISE HAS EXQUISIT TASTE..............

Yundi Li - Chopin Scherzi

CLICK HERE AND LISTEN...........SUPERIOR MUSIC TO RELAX TOO.

lindas fun house

Just Breathe...

Ok so little Jane went to meet with her counselor today- I had it in my palm pilot that it was at 1pm- at 1117 I get a call from therapist why aren't we there? I apologize but am confused because I show 1pm...I rush to her- little Jane has 30 minutes with her- ok.  Little Jane was happy when she came out. 

 

In talking in the car she said 'mom, I told her you and I fight a lot'. 

 

Seriously, the look I had was the same one when I found out I was pregnant- WTF!?!  I stop the car, I turn around and say 'why did you say that?'

 

her: Because we do fight A LOT- rolling her eyes

 

At this point, I think I'm going to cry- hell after everything I do for this child that's the first thing/first impression that comes out of her mouth? what in the world is the therapist going to think? Is she going to report me? Bloody hell what have I done??

 

I calm down a bit- or pretend to- ok I didn't I'm freaking out and in a bad episode from Seinfeld where I'm George wanting to be accepted by Jerry for some stupid thing I've done or haven't done and no one believes me.

 

Me: so Jane, why do you say that? I mean,

 

her: cut me off ok??-- mom, you remember one time I said I didn't love you and you said well I'm not going to love you back?'

 

me: WTF??? Jane...I've never said I don't love you- (now this is in 'fighting' tone to her as she quickly says 'you see?!) so I go to explain that I've never said that to her and how can she say that all the while she's insistent on this.  At this point, I'm wondering which one of us has alzheimers or tourette's because if I said it -which is something I would NEVER say- what kind of mother would say that??- it would be during a short episode of one of these. And she may be watching too much freaking TV.

 

her: she goes on to say about the fact that I'm always yelling...

me: 'Jane, I don't yell, I raise my voice a little, we're latin for crying out loud and our voices are already louder than everyone else's...when I yell is for you to get the heck out of the shower because you've been there for 30 minutes and I've called for you already 20 times with no response from you'.

 

her: no...you yell.

 

me: at this point Im thinking sh!t- she is the anti-christ here to drive me crazy and torture me- how could this be?  I try to let it go but i'm fuming at this point- not in anger, but in sheer desperation because I think this counselor thinks all I do is yell...and here I am to prove both of them wrong by not yelling but the veins in my neck are about to pop because all I want to do is scream.  I'm thinking this whole therapy thing was the wrong thing to do.

 

So I just tell her that I need some space- yeah I'm acting like a 6 year old but at this point I'm freaking hurt.

 

I relax a bit and go into her room where's she's painting.  I try to explain to her that she needs to carefully choose her words because if she says something bad about me that is not entirely true then someone would come here to investigate us and I told her about this woman who had her children taken away for two days because one girl said something against the mom that wasn't true (woman to remain anonymous because truly, I don't know her).  So now she's freaking out because she thinks they are going to take her away= she won't go water the plants, Jane, I say, don't worry- that's not what I meant to say, I just want you to be honest and don't say we 'always' fight because that's not the truth- what about soccer? what about swimming? what about painting we do together? what about reading together? what about going out for ice cream together? what about bike riding together? Frustrated I ask her to please go clean her room.

 

Ten minutes go by and I go upstairs and instead she's doing ......

to read the rest of this moms plight go to Plain Jane's Space.   I am off to pick up the kids from school now... give me strength!

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